iDFK

Yesterday, I was finally able to see you for the first time in five months. You wrapped your arms around me and asked me how I was doing.

Fighting back tears, I wanted to say,

'I am so miserable now that you are never in my life anymore. I've waited months to see you here like this and now our time together is almost up, and I have no idea when I'll get to see you next, if ever again. You are the only person I've ever loved and it hurts so fucking much to see you doing so well while I'm lying on my bedroom floor every night, crying until my eyes are burning and swollen into the next day.'

Instead, my entire body shaking, I flashed a small smile and weakly responded with,

'I'm doing okay.'

You believed the lie, and honestly, I wish you hadn’t.

—R.M., What I didn’t say but wish I had (via orphan-soul)

(via fatmiley)

When he says
He doesn’t love you anymore,
Roll your shoulders back
And look him in the eye
Even when it feels like your ribs
Are breaking inward, like spider legs.
When he digs up old aches
That he swore he forgave you for,
Smile
And ask him why he didn’t leave you sooner.
Ignore the way the words feel like sandpaper
Running all the way up your throat to your mouth.
When he blames you
For mistakes that wear his face,
Do not scream.
Do not cry.
Tell him that there are boys
Who would be proud to say they’d loved you.
Tell him that in two years
You won’t even remember his name
And don’t let him see the way you can taste your own lie.
When he leaves
Ignore the howling in your blood
And do not get up after him.
Not even to lock the door.
Do not, do not
Do not.
Smell his shirts when you box them up
To give them back.
Not one.
Swear off dating when you realize
You’re chasing ghosts that wear his smile.
It’s okay to cry over him.
It’s even okay to forgive him.
But do not go back to him.
If he did not know how to love you the first time,
He won’t know how to do it the next.

wallflowerbloom:

No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world.

We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.

(Dead Poets Society, 1989)

(via astrangedevice)